Ihsan: Let Your Faith Bring You Ease

This was almost written for my mommy blog. But then I realized that everyone could relate and perhaps benefit, with the will of Allah.

Disclaimer: I am not a scholar of any sort! But I am a mom, a wife, a human and a Believer in Allah. I go through trials and try my best to repent, learn, and change for the better, with the help and guidance of Allah.

As humans, we often look for validation and praise for the things we do. Many of us may not want to admit that. The reason this was initially for the moms was because they do so much that no one will ever see or express gratitude or appreciation for. Sometimes it’s not even enough to know we are doing what’s essentially right. She cleans, cooks, and nurtures the children all day long, but no one is there to notice. She nurses an infant and stays up all night when everyone is sleeping. No one notices. All they see is a lethargic person the next day whose hair is dishelved and voice raspy.  And because of this, many mothers and wives build resentment and some may look for validation within society. When you get an A on a college paper, you receive appreciation and praise for your hard work. When you complete a project at work, you get praised and financially compensated.

What compensation do we receive for doing good deeds?

Ihsan has many meanings. When I was first introduced to the word, it was in the context of God-consciousness. Not just any type of consciousness, but an awareness of Allah so strong that you live your life as if you can actually see Him (in a spiritual sense of course). Do you pray when no one is watching? Are you kind and patient with your infant child, although knowing she cannot tell anyone if you were not? Would you help someone in need even if no one was around to smile at you or pat you on the back? Would you fast if you were in seclusion, with no one to witness the sacrifice you have made?

Allah knows. Allah sees. And the angles are recording what you do.

Do you really believe that? We say we believe, but the real belief is in the practice. Ihsan is a way to live our lives. This Ramadan is the perfect time to strive towards having ihsan. Allah has made it easy for us because doing good usually feels good too. We were created to have an inclination towards the good.

With Ihsan, we will be happier and more content.

Sometimes it’s the small efforts we do to make other’s lives easier. If you vacuum the rug everyday while no one is around, most likely they will not express gratitude for your act. They key is to eliminate that craving for appreciation for every little act. We can start this by shifting our energy towards giving gratitude, instead of expecting it. After completing a good deed, thank Allah that you had the energy and strength to complete the deed. Thank Allah that you were able to make someone else’s life easier, because only through Allah’s mercy is these actions possible. If we expressed gratitude every time we did something good, our faith will be increased, inshaAllah. Our thoughts will turn towards the light instead of the darkness, and we will be content and happy with our lives.

Leaving you with this and a sincere prayer that we can find peace and satisfaction in knowing that Allah is watching all the time and that is always enough. Ameen.

The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “(Ihsan is) it’s to worship Allah as you are seeing Him and while you see Him not yet truly He sees you.” (Al-Bukhari, Hadith No. 48)

Do You Praise Your Lord When Your Feet Hurt?

It is true that wealth is a test. It’s like when we get that promotion and we start acting like our socks don’t stink. We start riding on high horses; clobbering anyone in the way of our rose-petaled path. And worse of all is when we dare to to claim that our good fortune is all of our own doing. May Allah protect us from that ungratefulness! Make us humble when we are blessed with the riches of this world! Ameen!

While all of that may be true, I must confess that it really is not that hard to pull up to the masjid in a drop-top cream-colored Bentley coupe, drop a bean in the sadaqa box and make salat shoulder to shoulder with the ummah in custom made threads, looking like you just hopped off the money train!

However, it is hard to to catch three buses with three grumpy kids, feet hurting from a long week at work, coming to the masjid on Sunday for ta’leem because bossman not trying to hear nothing about getting off early on Fridays for jummah prayer! But you throw on them dusty worn out threads, tearing on the seems and frayed on the edges, hoping it will looks like you just trying to be stylishly tattered. Then when you finally get off that third bus, you have to walk up a steep hill in ninety degree heat pushing a brokedown stroller and dragging the other two tagalongs, determined to make it to the masjid because you are trying to instill in them the importance of striving for the deen.

Alas, you have arrived at Allah’s House. You slide off your dusty shoes and the first step onto the lush green carpet is like a dream. The cushiony fibers welcome your sore feet, relieving pressure from your throbbing bunions and painful corns. A week of hurried walking and standing in unfit footwear all day long has taken it’s toll on your undeserving hooves.

When everyone lines up for the afternoon prayer, you tightly hold in your arms and legs quietly praying no one will take a whiff of your sweaty odorous body; the parts that could not be remedied by wudu. Allahu Akbar... Looking down, it’s evident the holes in your socks have widened during your travels, now revealing those tired dogs- those poor mistreated feet, covered in ash and soars from years of living life in the hard lane...

... But you made it! All praises are due to your Lord! You made it to this place of worship just in time to make prayer with the congregation. And suddenly life doesn't seem so bad, if only for the two hours you spend amongst the believers. Now you have the energy and the faith to make it through another week. Alhamdulillah!

You empty your wallet into the sadaqa box; only a few singles and some change, but the feeling you get from knowing you are contributing to your community is immeasurable. You will not allow throbbing feet and empty pockets to be your story. Your story is that of a righteous believer, striving to make good in this life- striving for peace and success- the kind of success that can’t be bought with dollar bills. No, the success you strive for will follow you into the grave and will make your existence here on earth worth the walk up that hill!

So the question remains my sisters and brothers, Will you praise your Lord when your feet hurt? Will you praise Him when you pockets are flat and your car is broke down? Will you praise God amidst calamity and death? Don’t let the test come before you can answer this question. SAY YES NOW JUST BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU ARE BLESSED.

Worthy Investments: What Are We Doing!?

I was trying to think of something clever to say to open up this article. But in the hopes of not causing misinterpretation or confusion, I’ll give it to you straight: What you spend your MONEY, TIME, and ENERGY on says a lot about YOU!!

I know, the formula seems simple enough. But if it’s so simple, why do we spend so much time complaining about what we don’t have, chasing what we think we need, and praying for what we want, yet our actions don’t reflect the words that slush from our mouths.

There are a lot of people in this world who would love to be rich. But, the truth is, if you were not born into a wealthy situation, it will take endless lots of time, effort, and ingenuity to climb the staircase to affluence. Do you have what it takes?

May women say they want a good man, but if you even slightly believe in the laws of attraction, you know that you must step your game up to be the best woman you can be and your good man will be attracted to you a like a refrigerator magnet. Same to the brothers looking for a quality woman!

You see, it’s about investing. If you decide to invest most of your time, energy and money in your children, you will most likely end up with highly educated, well-rounded children who value those things of which you invested: family and education. However, it will do of you no use to keep hoping and praying for children who value these things if you invest all of your time and energy trying to get rich or chasing the opposite sex.

And that brings me to perhaps the biggest part of this whole expedition: SACRIFICE. Are you willing to sacrifice relationships, social-life and sleep to achieve your goals? Then you must ask: are your sacrifices in vain? Are you sacrificing time with your children to have a better social life? Are you sacrificing volunteering in the community so you can shop ‘til you drop? Are you sacrificing your marriage to achieve wealth and prosperity?

I’m not going to sit here and tell you what you should be doing with your money, time and energy. But I will share this with you: one night as I was hitting the books hard -  Environmental Science – and boy I was really studying hard, trying to get that A. Then it dawned on me, when was the last time I devoting this must time and effort into worshipping Allah? Come on now, like when was the last time I drank a 5-Hour Energy shot so I could stay up reading Qur’an? Ummm… So why do I keep praying for Allah to give me stronger iman (faith)? Why do I keep praying for His mercy?

But don’t stop praying, oh no, PLEASE KEEP PRAYING, keep meditating, and keep reflecting! The time is now  to take a serious look at how we our spending our most valuable assets: TIME + ENERGY + MONEY. Let’s get serious and be real with ourselves: What do we really want out of life? What steps are we taking to to make our dreams become reality?

 **Let’s make better investments in Ourselves, Our Families and Our Communities**

And ALLAh SWT says this in Surah Asr:

By the Time! Man is surely in loss, except those who believed and did good works, and exhorted one another to Truth, and exhorted one another to patience.

So I guess the real question is: What is your definition of success??? Maybe for Part II . . .

 

I WAS JUST JOKING!

This one will be short and sweet, or bitter if you just want to be stubborn and not accept the fact that you are not perfect, and neither am I. I remember the first time someone brought it to my attention that I perhaps had a problem with speaking before I thought. It was an acquaintance in high school, "Krisheena, sometimes you really put your foot in your mouth." I was speechless. I had never been told this before, but I took it seriously and at that moment, I vowed to work on improving that aspect of my personality.  Well, I am still a work in progress.

Recently I said some things to friend "just joking,” justifying it in my mind because I meant no harm.  However, there has been a dark cloud over my head ever since. Even though, it was just in “fun,” the things I said were not nice, and this is not acceptable behavior of a believing woman. A joke should never be at someone else’s expense. So, I have am making a resolution to be mindful of the things I say. I will pretend I have a filter in my throat that won't allow any hurtful words to pass through. We would like to think it's cool to make fun of others, but it’s not, GOD said so!   


“O you who believe! Let not a group ridicule another group, it may be that the latter are better than the former. Nor let (some) women scoff at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former. Nor defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. How bad is it to insult one’s brother after having Faith” (Surah Hujuraat 49:11)

A common excuse used by people who like to make fun of others is, “I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing with you!” However, we must ask ourselves, is the other person really laughing?

Keepin My Game Tight- Part II, In Marriage

In Marriage:

"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are the devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husbands) absence what Allah would have them guard . . ." Surah An Nisaa (The Women), ayat 34, Holy Quran.

This ayat has been at the center of controversy perhaps for hundreds of years. Non-believers use it to deter women from entering Islam and oppressors use it to oppress our beautiful Muslim sisters. The bottom line is this: it is the word of GOD. If you can not find any good in it, it is because of your own ignorance or devious agenda. Here is the good I got from this beautiful ayat:

Men are the protectors and providers for their family, even if the woman is making more money, he is still responsible for the welfare of the family. But here's the kicker: women have an extremely important role in protecting and maintaining the safety and security of the household as well. I will give you an example:

There is a group of Muslim women sitting around talking loose about their marital affairs; this is a breech of security: a safety risk. If my husband is going through a tough time, it is my duty to uphold the dignity of the family, not to talk bad about him behind his back. Everything comes full circle. Muslims are just people and people are weak. Now everyone is looking at this brother sideways because his own wife has been slandering his character. People laugh and jest about him as soon as he leaves the room. And this is not just a reflection on him, but his household.

Seeking counseling from an Imam or other qualified source is encouraged in Islam, however backbiting and exposing the faults of ANYONE is forbidden. Insulting your spouse is like insulting yourself. If my husband is no good and I plan on staying with him, but I just want to slander his name, how can I consider myself to be any better than my no good husband?

Lesson of the Day: Keep my game tight. Allah gave me all the tools, but it’s up to me to use them. Allah knows Best.

Judge Not!

Keepin' My Game Tight: Part I, Faith

This slang phrase has long been popular amongst the gangsters and players. When one "keeps their game tight", they don't have any slip ups; every word and every move must be a calculated one, because any frivolous action or reaction made out of emotions could bring the roof tumbling down on their heads.

This anecdote can be applied to any area of life. This is how I have applied it in mine:

In Faith:

"Say, He is Allah the One; Allah, the Eternal, Absolute; He begetteth not, nor is He begotten; And there is none like unto Him."Surah Al-Iklas (The Purity of Faith), Holy Quran.

With this I remind myself that God is a merciful God, and can forgive just about anything with true repentance. Anything except associating partners with Him. This sin is a grave one and sometimes we commit it in stages. We get so wrapped up in our spouses, children, jobs, hobbies, mortgages, etc. that over time, we have eventually made these things our God. Allowing anyone or anything to completely occupy and determine your every thought and action is a form of worship.

If we define our existence by these things, what would happen to us should they no longer be present in our lives? Houses can be foreclosed, wealth can be lost, people will die. Shall we kill ourselves when these things happen? Shall we bury ourselves in grief layer upon layer until it is like you are dead? Certainly not.

Yes, I must keep my game tight. I mustn't get so wrapped up in my love for my family, that I rest my fate in their hands. I love them for the sake of Allah. If I live by this I can not be broken. I can not be deteriorated. My faith will be strong and unrelenting, God willing.

-Judge Not!

Finding my Purpose

I haven't posted any blogs in the past few days because I've been working on my lastest venture at Suite101. On this "soft news" site, I am a contributing publisher. When I first signed up, I thought- writing web articles and getting paid? Sounds like a great idea! However, I am now learning that, unlike blogging, writing news articles can be a grueling process. Especially when you are lacking a journalism degree.

Okay, this isn't supposed to be sounding all down and out- I do love it! It's just that I haven't been challenged in this way in a long time. In school, sometimes I would run from challenge- take the easy, lazy road. But now I am an adult with responsibilities and I realize that nothing is free in this world. For me, that means that even doing what you love to do can be very hard work, so one just has to learn to love working hard.

Writing for Suite 101 is a giant leap of faith because there is no garauntee that any revenue will be generated. By picking good topics and writing attractive titles, one can increase the likelyhood of web traffic going to their article, hence increasing the likelyhood of being paid by advertisers. So, here I go, once again, refining my purpose in life, paving a new road to travel. May Allah give us all strength in finding our purpose.

-Judge Not!

My Moral Mortality

Death. Dying. Dead. Fatality. Mortality. Grave. Mourning. Moving On.

Okay, I got if of my chest. Whew, That felt pretty good actually. This is a hard subject to talk about, whether it be in a blog, or with friends or even at a place of worship. We all know that death is the inevitable. As a Muslim I understand that "Every soul shall have the taste of death" Holy Quran 3:185. So I sit here in the middle of the night and I contemplate.

Initially, I think about the meaning of death; the moment of death. I ask myself, "How soon will I be forgotten on this Earth? A day? A month? A year? Twenty years? When will I become just a picture from another time buried in someones basement?" I know I am not supposed to be scared of death, but like many others, I struggle with that aspect. I'm just too darn inquisitive! I could keep myself up all night thinking about the Hows, Whys, Whens and Wheres. So instead I just decide to get it all out in these two paragraphs so I can move on to something much more tangible: LIFE.

I think this must be the key. For those of us who believe in an afterlife, we have to constantly consider what we are doing in this life that will affect our fate in the next. Will I be rewarded or punished? However, this is not our only driving force to do good by ourselves, our loved ones, and the society at large. Have you ever asked yourself why all the atheist of the world are not ruthless psycotic serial killers? Well fortunately for the human race, God has hard-wired us to want to do good(whether we accept his favor or not.) There will always be temptation to do bad, but for the overwhelming majority of the human race, WE WANT TO DO GOOD. Have you ever been in a situation when you know you can do something really wrong and get away with it, but you just don't do it? Or if you do act on your michieveous thoughts, you immediately feel a heavy weight of guilt? These are the attributes that makes us human: God's most complex creation.

Where am I going with this? LIVE YOUR LIFE THE BEST YOU CAN RIGHT NOW! Not a person on this earth knows the exact moment when they will breath their last breath, but we all know it's coming . . . sooner for some, later for the rest. We have no choice about of death, but we have the choice to do something good, bad or in between right now. Do something good for a complete sranger, or someone you love dearly. Don't get so overly consumed with the day to day struggles that you are not enjoying your life. Marrige, children, jobs, and worship can become so routine that we are not cherishing those special moments that make life so valuble. Many of life's seasons can be bittersweet: developing an aquired taste is the best advice I can give. Allah knows best!

-Judge Not!

I AM WOMAN

I like to call myself a realistic feminist. First I must give my definition of an unrealistic feminist: A woman who believes that women are equal to men in every way, shape and form and should be treated as such. After giving birth to my daughter, I am left without a doubt that woman and man are NOT created equal: there is no way my husband could have survived childbirth! I mean seriously, our bodies are just built for it- yes even the 1st so-called "pregnant man" (which obviously proves that a woman can call themselves a man, but God can reveal otherwise.)

I think the women's liberation movement was great because the truth is that we live in a misogynist society and sometimes drastic measures have to be taken to acquire civil rights. All I ask, is do not take away my God given right to be a wonderful, powerful, strong, unique WOMAN. It doesn't bother me that my husband has more upper body strength. As I watch the ways in which we interact with our daughter, they are not the same, and I am thankful for that. Women and men have unique qualities to bring to the table- in business, education, marriage, and child-rearing- one not more important than the other. Allah has created us in a dynamic fashion that we may never fully understand, but we can accept. The sooner one accepts and appreciates their attributes , the sooner one will be secure with the mind, body and soul God gave them. THANK GOD FOR WOMAN! . . . AND MAN!

-Judge Not!

The Art of Arguing

True to the name of this blog, I am always digging for knowledge. After all, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) commanded for us to "Seek knowledge from the cradle to the grave." However I have found that it is all to easy to slip into the mode of seeking conflict rather than truly seeking knowledge. Far too many times I will read an enlightening hadith or book written by a renowned scholar, then all of a sudden I think I am qualified enough to teach this precious new information to others. Then when someone disagrees with me, I feel the need to defend my point view to point where I find myself in a debate on a subject that I probably no very little about. Is it pride that drives me to the point of arguing with my fellow Muslims and beloved non-Muslim family and friends? Do I harvest an insatiable hunger to be right all the time? Surely I cannot be that egotistical? Well, I won't be that hard on myself, but I noticed that sometimes I can get so wrapped up in proving a point, that I myself is not willing to accept a different point of view. What happen to agreeing to disagree? I've discovered that when it comes to matters of religion, people are very sensitive because it is hard to admit that we have been serving our Lord incorrectly, whether through dress, prayer, or understanding our holy books. Ego also plays a part- a man doesn't want to be corrected by a woman, or an Arab by an Indonesian, or a parent by a child, or a teacher by a student, or an American convert by an Muslim-born immigrant . . . and the list goes on.

I think we can all learn to teach to and learn from each other with a greater sense of sensitivity and wisdom: maybe we are both right or perhaps we could both be wrong. Whatever the case, always seek refuge with Allah from the whisperings of the shatan before entering a discussion. Ask Allah to purify your intentions so that we are not just intentionally starting an argument for the sake of being right.

Judge Not!

JUDGE NOT!

My dear parents came to visit me from Philadelphia and of course I had to take them to see the sights and the lights of the Las Vegas strip. So I prepared myself for the too close for comfort crowds, the smoky casinos, and all the haram goings-on, but I did not prepare to JUDGE NOT. . . I was fine at first cruising from casino to casino pushing my baby stroller, wearing a colorful hijab and matching tunic. Then we landed at the Fashion Show mall food court. As my parents chowed down, my eye caught a glimpse of a scantily clad young woman laughing with her friends. All of a sudden I became fixated on this woman, clad in a purple spandex mini-dress, sparkly gold strappy platform heels, platinum gold long hair extensions, too-blue-to-be-true contact lenses, and enough make-up to paint the Sistine Chapel! My fixation quickly progressed to obsession as I thought: “Wow, she really thinks she’s cute. Ha!" “I mean she’s dressed like a two-dollar whore!” “No respectable man would be attracted to THAT!” Then I became all pious, thinking: “Poor thing, she needs Islam”. “She just doesn’t know any better. SHE IS LOST”.

Well, the truth is, I still have fleeting thoughts about that woman I saw in the food court over a month ago. I went home that night and pondered on why I had reacted in such a vehement fashion. My conclusion: She is me and I am her. I did to her what many people may be doing to me everyday. I judged her; and that was a dangerous thing. Once we start making assumptions about each other, we start to categorize them and usually we use this compartmentalizing to then elevate ourselves above our own downfalls and imperfections, i.e. “I am better because . . .” In my situation, who was more in the wrong; the woman in the tight dress or the woman in the hijab who judged and slandered the woman in the tight dress? As Muslims, we often recite Allah Knows Best, but do we really believe it and put it into practice?

Let’s not forget that all of us have a story and all of us have secrets that only a few people know, or maybe that only you and Allah know. As headlines in February wrote, “Muslim TV Mogul Muzzammil Hassan’s alleged beheading of wife, Asiya Hassan, may be honor killing”, I thought Oh God, Islam will surely be blamed for this one! Society has shown us many clear examples of how dangerous judging can be, yet we continue to cast fellow Muslims and fellow human beings into the hellfire. Allah is the only one with that authority because he is the only one who sees into the hearts of men.

We are far from perfect as individuals and we are far from perfect as Muslims. We can’t give dawah (inviting others to Islam) by pointing and whispering and we certainly can’t build our iman (faith) by shifting the blame. We all have skeletons in the closet, so when you see someone with their bones exposed, remember you are one soft layer away from being exposed yourself! These ayats have helped me think twice before I judge, and InshAllah (God willing) it will help you too. Read. Recite. Absorb.

Al Maida (5:48-50) Holy Qur’an

“To thee we sent the scripture in truth, confirming the scripture that came before it, and guarding it in safety: so judge between them what Allah hath revealed, and follow not their vain desires, diverging from the truth that hath come to thee. To each among you have we prescribed a law and an open way. If Allah had so willed, he would have made you a single people, but (His plan is) to test you in what He hath given you: so strive as in a race in all virtues. The goal of you all is with Allah; it is he that shows you the truth of the matters in which ye dispute;

And this (He commands): Judge thou between them by what Allah hath revealed, and follow not their vain desires, but beware of them lest they beguile thee from any of that (teaching) which Allah has sent down to thee. And if they turn away, be sure that for some of their crimes it is Allah's purpose to punish them. And truly most men are rebellious.

Do they then seek after a judgment of (The Days of) Ignorance? But who, for a people whose faith is assured, can give better judgment that Allah?”

That’s deep. Allah knows best.