Thursday, December 24, 2009
Keepin My Game Tight- Part II, In Marriage
"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are the devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husbands) absence what Allah would have them guard . . ." Surah An Nisaa (The Women), ayat 34, Holy Quran.
This ayat has been at the center of controversy perhaps for hundreds of years. Non-believers use it to deter women from entering Islam and oppressors use it to oppress our beautiful Muslim sisters. The bottom line is this: it is the word of GOD. If you can not find any good in it, it is because of your own ignorance or devious agenda. Here is the good I got from this beautiful ayat:
Men are the protectors and providers for their family, even if the woman is making more money, he is still responsible for the welfare of the family. But here's the kicker: women have an extremely important role in protecting and maintaining the safety and security of the household as well. I will give you an example:
There is a group of Muslim women sitting around talking loose about their marital affairs; this is a breech of security: a safety risk. If my husband is going through a tough time, it is my duty to uphold the dignity of the family, not to talk bad about him behind his back. Everything comes full circle. Muslims are just people and people are weak. Now everyone is looking at this brother sideways because his own wife has been slandering his character. People laugh and jest about him as soon as he leaves the room. And this is not just a reflection on him, but his household.
Seeking counseling from an Imam or other qualified source is encouraged in Islam, however backbiting and exposing the faults of ANYONE is forbidden. Insulting your spouse is like insulting yourself. If my husband is no good and I plan on staying with him, but I just want to slander his name, how can I consider myself to be any better than my no good husband?
Lesson of the Day: Keep my game tight. Allah gave me all the tools, but it’s up to me to use them. Allah knows Best.