Thursday, December 24, 2009

Keepin My Game Tight- Part II, In Marriage

In Marriage:

"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are the devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husbands) absence what Allah would have them guard . . ." Surah An Nisaa (The Women), ayat 34, Holy Quran.

This ayat has been at the center of controversy perhaps for hundreds of years. Non-believers use it to deter women from entering Islam and oppressors use it to oppress our beautiful Muslim sisters. The bottom line is this: it is the word of GOD. If you can not find any good in it, it is because of your own ignorance or devious agenda. Here is the good I got from this beautiful ayat:

Men are the protectors and providers for their family, even if the woman is making more money, he is still responsible for the welfare of the family. But here's the kicker: women have an extremely important role in protecting and maintaining the safety and security of the household as well. I will give you an example:

There is a group of Muslim women sitting around talking loose about their marital affairs; this is a breech of security: a safety risk. If my husband is going through a tough time, it is my duty to uphold the dignity of the family, not to talk bad about him behind his back. Everything comes full circle. Muslims are just people and people are weak. Now everyone is looking at this brother sideways because his own wife has been slandering his character. People laugh and jest about him as soon as he leaves the room. And this is not just a reflection on him, but his household.

Seeking counseling from an Imam or other qualified source is encouraged in Islam, however backbiting and exposing the faults of ANYONE is forbidden. Insulting your spouse is like insulting yourself. If my husband is no good and I plan on staying with him, but I just want to slander his name, how can I consider myself to be any better than my no good husband?

Lesson of the Day: Keep my game tight. Allah gave me all the tools, but it’s up to me to use them. Allah knows Best.

Judge Not!


WhiteOrchid said...

that is a very good post!
I've heard plenty of women going on about the things their husbands do/do not do.A wife should know to always stand up for her husband and help him change for the better instead of talking behind his back.

Anna said...

MashAllah :) sorry to be reading this SOOOOOOOOOOOOO late. An excellent and valid point. I used to be offended when I read stuff about "the ungrateful woman" but Subhana Allah it is so true...I have made this mistake before...look no of us are perfect, but pestering, complaining, and nagging to our husbands or sharing this stuff with others will only drive a larger wedge in between the two...subhana allah, how ungrateful we are, make allah make us better!!!

Muslim Mommy said...

Yes, husband and wife should always be on the same team, inshaAllah. It is easy to get caught up in these "confessional-like" converstions where all the women start complaining about their husbands, revealing their faults and secrets! May Allah guide us away from this destructive behavior. It's not only sinful, but it makes us look bad!