Showing posts with label sisters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sisters. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

The Hijab Obsession Part 2: Social Media- Pulling Us Together or Tearing Us Apart?


It’s been a while since Hijab Obsession Part 1, but what can I say? I only write when I am inspired. I AM SICK AND TIRED OF SISTERS TEARING EACH OTHER UP ON FACEBOOK. Ok? Got me? It’s sickening. I usually friend any sister who sends me a request. Since I never post anything super-personal, I don’t mind building up my sister-to-sister connection. However, I am now rethinking the whole social media thing.

I logged on last night to see what people were saying about the election, and of course a lot of the Muslims were arguing about whether or not to vote. I expected that. However, as I scrolled down I see a sister’s post, “I am sick of seeing these sisters walking around with their niqab flipped up!” Then the comments poured on about the sisters who “know they ain’t right” wearing turbans or colors or this or that or blah blah blah.

My first thought was, Uh… America just voted in a new President and this is the best you have to post? Then I really felt disgusted that these sisters took time out their day to bash other sisters for what they looked like on the OUTSIDE. And it made me think, dang, I give ALL Muslim sisters salaams, are they thinking these things when they see me on the street? Do they think that “I know I ain’t right?”

Ok, so every judgment should eventually bring on some self-assessment and reflection: Am I this judgmental? Yes, I love all my sisters and want the best for them, but there was that sister wearing a hijab with a lime green short set over the summer. And I sure did call up one of my sisters and have a good laugh. SHAKE MY HEAD! This is not appropriate behavior of a believing woman- period.

We are not supposed to backbite ANYONE. But when it comes to our sisters and brothers, we are actually supposed to look the other way and make an excuse for them. Yes, we are supposed to educate them, but not in a way to embarrass to make them feel lesser. And guess what, you may not be the one who is qualified to educate them. Ever think about that? Here’s some suggestions of what you could do next time you get your abayas in bunch and are about to call up every sister you know to blast a brother or sister who, “know they ain’t right.” That’s right put down your devices, and think before you post!

Example: You see a brother walk into a bar: Say to yourself, “I bet that brother is going in there looking for someone.” Then forget you ever saw him.
Example: You see a sister who wears niqab at the masjid in some hot pink tight booty shorts: “As Salaamu Alaikum Sister! How are you these days? Want to come to my house for some jasmine tea? We can read Qur’an or just talk.” And this is the hard part: don’t tell anyone, whether she accepts your invite or not!  Then pray for her and for yourself.
Example: Someone on facebook says something you really can’t stand, instead of getting in a heating argument you either: 1- hide/delete them or, 2- Say, “Alhamdulillah, Allah knows best my sister. I love you for the sake of Allah. Masjid ____ holds classes on this subject every Sunday after taleem. Salaam!”
We are all striving together! Don’t forget that. We must ask ourselves: What would the Sahaba do?
"He who relieves a hardship of this Dunya (this earthly life) or a believer, Allah will relieve a hardship of the Day of Resurrection for him; he who makes it easy for an indebted person, Allah will make it easy for him in the Dunya and the Hereafter; he who covers a Muslim (his mistakes and shortcomings), Allah will cover him in the Dunya and the Hereafter; Allah will be in the slave 's need, as long as the slave is in his (believing) brother's need…"
 [Saheeh Muslim]
And Allah SWT says:


And when they hear AlLaghw (dirty, false, evil vain talk), they withdraw from it and say: “To us our deeds, and to you your deeds. Peace be to you. We seek not the ignorant.”
(Surah Al-Qasas: Verse 55)


Monday, November 21, 2011

The Hijab Obsession - Part I



I often will hear Muslim sisters (and brothers) say:

“I can’t stand to see sisters wearing niqab (the face veil.)”

“I can’t stand to see sisters wearing all black.”


And on the contrary, other sisters say…

“I can’t stand to see sisters wearing pants.”

“I can’t stand to see sisters wearing brightly colored clothes.”


Few Muslims would argue that the correct hijab for women is to cover everything except the face and hands, and not to wear anything that draws attention or flatters the figure. There might be some who will dispute this, but most Muslims and scholars subscribe to this understanding, even if they do not choose to adhere to it.

That being said, why is it that Muslim sisters are actually disgusted with one another and claim they can’t stand to see their fellow sisters dressed a certain way? We should be uplifting our sisters, instead of beating them down with our judgments and backbiting. Do you want to know what I can’t stand?

  • I can’t stand to see sisters in cliques; whispering and giggling while making other sisters feel alone.

  • I can’t stand to have a conversation about outer modesty, without considering also the inner modesty.

  • I can’t stand to see the Muslim community divided over something as simple as dress code.


Some of you will read this and say, why is she saying these things, is she undermining the importance of hijab? Quite the opposite, my sisters and brothers. I am simply trying to promote empathy and humility. When we make judgments of each other, we are creating a divide, and that is the last thing the Muslims need to do when we are living in a society that dislikes all of us, no matter how we dress.

I am also encouraging sisters and brothers to use proper adab (manners) when it comes to correcting each other. We are supposed to pull the misguided person aside and teach them the correct way. But before that, you have to check your own intention (why are you really correcting them?) and also check your own correctness (different schools of thought believe in different things, so just stick to the Qur’an and Sunnah) and have proof of your correction. However, I find many times we can lead by example, correcting our own misguided ways before approaching anyone else. If you talk about your sister/brother to others or say sarcastic remarks, your sin is worse than theirs.

Here is some fruitful guidance from the Qur’an:

And when they hear AlLaghw (dirty, false, evil vain talk), they withdraw from it and say: “To us our deeds, and to you your deeds. Peace be to you. We seek not the ignorant.”
(Surah Al-Qasas: Verse 55)

There is much more I’d like to share on this topic, so please check back for part II and perhaps part III, God-willing. Any good you can extract from this article is from Allah, and any bad from me. I pray that my intentions are good and that Allah will guide us on the straight path. AMEEN