Keepin My Game Tight- Part II, In Marriage

In Marriage:

"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are the devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husbands) absence what Allah would have them guard . . ." Surah An Nisaa (The Women), ayat 34, Holy Quran.

This ayat has been at the center of controversy perhaps for hundreds of years. Non-believers use it to deter women from entering Islam and oppressors use it to oppress our beautiful Muslim sisters. The bottom line is this: it is the word of GOD. If you can not find any good in it, it is because of your own ignorance or devious agenda. Here is the good I got from this beautiful ayat:

Men are the protectors and providers for their family, even if the woman is making more money, he is still responsible for the welfare of the family. But here's the kicker: women have an extremely important role in protecting and maintaining the safety and security of the household as well. I will give you an example:

There is a group of Muslim women sitting around talking loose about their marital affairs; this is a breech of security: a safety risk. If my husband is going through a tough time, it is my duty to uphold the dignity of the family, not to talk bad about him behind his back. Everything comes full circle. Muslims are just people and people are weak. Now everyone is looking at this brother sideways because his own wife has been slandering his character. People laugh and jest about him as soon as he leaves the room. And this is not just a reflection on him, but his household.

Seeking counseling from an Imam or other qualified source is encouraged in Islam, however backbiting and exposing the faults of ANYONE is forbidden. Insulting your spouse is like insulting yourself. If my husband is no good and I plan on staying with him, but I just want to slander his name, how can I consider myself to be any better than my no good husband?

Lesson of the Day: Keep my game tight. Allah gave me all the tools, but it’s up to me to use them. Allah knows Best.

Judge Not!

Keepin' My Game Tight: Part I, Faith

This slang phrase has long been popular amongst the gangsters and players. When one "keeps their game tight", they don't have any slip ups; every word and every move must be a calculated one, because any frivolous action or reaction made out of emotions could bring the roof tumbling down on their heads.

This anecdote can be applied to any area of life. This is how I have applied it in mine:

In Faith:

"Say, He is Allah the One; Allah, the Eternal, Absolute; He begetteth not, nor is He begotten; And there is none like unto Him."Surah Al-Iklas (The Purity of Faith), Holy Quran.

With this I remind myself that God is a merciful God, and can forgive just about anything with true repentance. Anything except associating partners with Him. This sin is a grave one and sometimes we commit it in stages. We get so wrapped up in our spouses, children, jobs, hobbies, mortgages, etc. that over time, we have eventually made these things our God. Allowing anyone or anything to completely occupy and determine your every thought and action is a form of worship.

If we define our existence by these things, what would happen to us should they no longer be present in our lives? Houses can be foreclosed, wealth can be lost, people will die. Shall we kill ourselves when these things happen? Shall we bury ourselves in grief layer upon layer until it is like you are dead? Certainly not.

Yes, I must keep my game tight. I mustn't get so wrapped up in my love for my family, that I rest my fate in their hands. I love them for the sake of Allah. If I live by this I can not be broken. I can not be deteriorated. My faith will be strong and unrelenting, God willing.

-Judge Not!