What will YOUR legacy be?

How will I be remembered? Will they say...

 "That was a really humble sister. She always gave to the needy and was always upbeat."
"She had a great sense of humor and was serious about her deen."
"She was a selfless wife and mother, always putting her family before herself."
"She will be missed."
"May Allah grant her a spacious grave and forgive her of her sins."

OR will they say this,

"That sister was boastful and arrogant. She never gave charity, not even a smile."
"My mother never had time for us, she was always too busy doing things for herself."
"Who is that sister?"
"I think I saw her at the Masjid only for Eids."
"May Allah forgive her of her sins."

Surah 2:156 "To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return."


Everyone wants to be remembered as a "good person." But are we thinking about this fact when we are backbiting, lying and deceiving, being ungrateful, and doing lots of other things that are displeasing to OUR LORD. Are we thinking at all? Are we being conscience of our words and our actions? Our thoughts?  Or are we so wrapped up in all the petty things in this society of deception that we forget what is really important? .... Pleasing Allah! With another Ramadan past, God-willing, we have been purified, and we have become better people. 


I want my legacy to be one of selflessness and charity. One of intellect; both secular and religious. I want my good deeds to inspire others to do good deeds. And I want to be inspired by others to do good as well. I want my legacy to live on through my children and grandchildren, inshaAllah.


Some people believe we are living in  the END OF DAYS. Well, I say my last day could be today or in seventy years, but NOW is the best time to change my ways. 

Let's Talk About the WAR

I admit, talking about the war in Iraq/Afghanistan (Lybia??) can be daunting. There's a lot of confusion and a lot of deception because the war is so highly political and economical. Okay, let me start over. I don't know much about the war, but I do know something ain't right!!

With the tenth anniversary of 9/11 in a few days, I'd like take a step back a take a good look on how America has gotten to this place of confusion. There are hate groups coming out of the shadows. Our economy is plundering, as millions of people are without work. Our young military troops are being killed and maimed and mentally scarred... and for what? Weapons of mass destruction? Oh yeah, that turned out to be a complete LIE.

I am currently taking a Political Science class in college, and will be taking it upon myself to learn more about the war and the oil money politics behind it. So, join me over the next few months as I explore why it seems that the U.S. seems to enjoy destroying the lands and lives of Muslims in the East in the name of democracy.

Keeping an EYE on IRENE

Hurricane Irene, biggest in Philly since the 1970s

Hurricane Irene closes down East Coast

Hurricane Irene is on her way! I have been fortunate to not experience any natural diasters in all of my twenty seven years on this earth. All we've heard for the past three days was IRENE IRENE IRENE. Hurricane Irene is the biggest storm to hit the Eastern seaboard in fifty years. It's mere size is dauting, covering a sqare milage comparible to the continent of Europe. Now there are tonados stirring and floods from North Carolina on up the East Coast. I was excited at first. But I must admit my giddiness has turned into nervousnes. It is only a category 1 storm, so many of us did not take it seriously. But when the entire Jersey Coast is on a Mandatory evacuation and many parts of Lower Manhattan are evacuated for the first time in history, I start to worry.

The Spirit of Ramadan

The English translation of the Qur'an spells it out quite clearly in Surah Al-Baqarah:

183. O you who believe! Observing As-Saum (the fasting) is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may become Al-Muttaqun (the pious - see V.2:2).

184. [Observing Saum (fasts)] for a fixed number of days, but if any of you is ill or on a journey, the same number (should be made up) from other days. And as for those who can fast with difficulty, (e.g. an old man, etc.), they have (a choice either to fast or) to feed a Miskin (poor person) (for every day). But whoever does good of his own accord, it is better for him. And that you fast, it is better for you if only you knew.

So what if you are nursing? Or taking medication? Or sickly? Or traveling? How do you maintain the spirit of Ramadan? Should you punish yourself by fasting when your body is giving you all the signs that the fast would not be beneficial for you?

No food and No drink from sunrise to sunset

 Hey, I'm not talking about people who are just really hungry, no thats your tummy talking, go read some Qur'an and ask Allah for strength- keep up the good work, may Allah make the fast easy on you and increase your Iman!

I'm saying if you have a valid excuse for not fasting from food, how do you maintain the spiritual fast? When your stomach is aching, it is a big reminder that you need to be more humble, give charity, pray harder, and read qur'an and hadith. When you are fasting in these long summer days, you will be inclined to search for peace, inshaAllah. But if you're eating, there is little reminder it is even the blessed month of Ramadan! Especially if you are secluded from other Muslims for whatever reason.

Here are 5 tips to stay focused:

1. Wake up for Fajr, and ask Allah to increase your Iman

2. Make a schedule. ie: 5a.m., fajr 5:15 -6a.m. read surah Al-Baqarah... 12 p.m. lunch 12:30-1p.m. read Hadith from Sahih Muslim. Stick to your schedule! and if something comes up, have make-up slots in your day.

3. Go to iftars. Be around the fasters - support your brothers and sisters - learn with them, feed them! It would be benefit you to surround yourself with people who are serious about Islam. There are many benefits to be reaped from the fast, but if you can't withhold from food and drink, try to get some of that piety to rub off on you by attending iftars and taraweh prayers.

4. Eat light healthy meals high in Omega-3 fatty acids. This is BRAIN FOOD.

5. Restrict television, as a matter of a fact, just leave it off because it can be a MAJOR distraction, as can be the internet. However, if you have small children, it is easy to watch Islamic songs and documentaries that teach about Islam and Ramadan either on DVD or www.Youtube.com. And the internet can be a great way to learn surahs of the qur'an on sites like http://www.mounthira.com/ and listen to lectures.

6. Think before you speak or act! It's Ramadan Muslims! Don't backbite! Don't cuss! Don't gossip or tell lies! DO be nice. DO help a person in need. DO feed a hungry person. DO go out of your way to say and do things in your everyday life that are pleasing to Allah. DO SMILE :-))

Okay Muslims, just thought I'd give a little inspiration in these last ten day of Ramadan 2011. May Allah reward the fasters! And may Allah reward those who persevere for the sake of pleasing Allah! Ameen.

SHAHADA...SALAT...ZAKAT...SAWM...HAJJ...
declaration of faith...prayer...charity...fasting...pilgrimage

Today's Muslim Woman

Okay, so the title sounds a bit cheesy, or maybe even a little too "media friendly", but don't fear. I have no intention of pigeon-holing American Muslim women and declaring "who we are" or "what we want" because the beauty of being a Muslimah in America is that we are all so different. We are different in our perceptions of Islam and we are different in our dress and family values. However, we have major similaries: we believe that there is no god but Allah, and Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah. Ameen!

So actually this post is more a question than an answer. What is important to YOU, beautiful Muslim woman? Or the Muslimahs you know? I have met many sisters that believe education is paramount. They believe getting a B.A. or even a Ph. D. is a necessity before embarking on the path towards bullding a marriage and family. They will often echo the words of the Prophet Muhammad (saws) "Seek knowledge, even in China" and "Seek Knowledge, from the cradle to the grave."

Being self-sufficient is important to many Muslim Women. They hold the example of the Prophet Muhammad's (saws) first wife Khadijah who was a prominent businesswoman in her time. She was also the most beloved of all the Phophet's wives.

Then there are the Muslimahs that believe that finding a husband and starting a family is the paramount for the Muslim woman. These women have a great deal of evidence from Qur'an and Sunnah that for Muslim women, our blessings will be recieved in the home. "The Prophet (saws) stated: 'Whoever chooses to follow my tradition must get married and produce offspring through marriage (and increase the population of Muslims) so that on the day of resurrection I shall confront other Ummah (nations) with the (great) numbers of my Ummah."

Many Muslim women in the West find a happy medium, trying to balance work, education and married life. But, being one of those women-ha ha!- it can be exhausting! I'm just being truthful. So what do I want for my daughters? I don't know. Perhaps I can raise them the best I know how according to this beautiful deen of Al-Islam and just pray Allah has Mercy on my girls, guiding them on the path that's best for them.

Your opinion is appreciated!

Moving Beyond the Hijab

Yes, I have decided to change the name of my blog from 'Digging for Knowledge' to 'Not Just Another Hijab Blog.' I have nothing against hijab/fashion blogs, in fact I follow a few myself. However, as a Muslimah, I find that the discussion amongst and about Muslimahs is much too often about hijab.

What is the correct hijab? To hijab or not to hijab? What colors are acceptable for women? How much of a woman has to be covered? What does hijab say about a Muslim woman's faith? What age to start our daughters wearing hijab? What are the latest hijab fashions?

All of these questions are quite valid, and a mountain of opinions are floating around the web on these topics. So, I just wanted to let everyone know that this is NOT just another hijab blog, because there are enough of those. My blog is to wander and explore a variety of topics; everything from faith to history to current events.

So, I thank all of you for being interested in reading a blog that is NOT centered around the way Muslim women dress :)

Judge Not!

Niqab: Oppression or Liberation?

Niqab: a face veil covering the lower part of the face (up to the eyes) worn by observant Muslim women

Oppression: the state of being kept down by unjust use of force or authority

Liberation: To set free, as from oppression, confinement, or foreign control

When I think of oppression, I think of slavery, prejudice, inequality, dictatorship, rape, abuse, lesser race, caste and class, the MAN, voting rights, civil rights, misogynist, and so on. So the question stands, can a niqab, a piece of cloth placed over the face, become a vehicle for oppression? Well, of course it can. Just like a miniskirt, or a haircut, or a room in a house.

Compairing the niqab to the miniskirt.

If a person of authority forces a woman to wear a mini-skirt every day, in order to make her feel used and worthless, the mini-skirt, a piece of fabric, then becomes a vehicle for oppression. It gets tricky when one tries to determine what actions fall under “force”. In America, we live in a society that is over sexualized. This is not an extreme statement; this is a common sense statement. Sex is everywhere: shows, movies, commercials, newsstands, street corners, schools, workplaces, and even places of worship. We live in an age where sex-scandals are top news-stories. These scandals have no limits- pastors and congressmen caught in homosexual acts, celebrities committing adultery with porn-stars and prostitutes, and let’s not forget about the molesting priests.

One would think a society with so much sexual deviance would try to counter this behavior with positive reinforcement. Perhaps a troubled society like this would encourage their young women and men to have decency and respect for their bodies. But this is just an ideology. The truth is that on the cover every popular teen magazine, you will find titles like, “Wanted List: Mod Mini-Skirts” (promoting the shortest skirts paired with platform stiletto heels) and “How to Make Out” (a complete detailed guide on tongue kissing).

Yet some women will argue that dressing sexy is a form of liberation. These women will say it is their right to bare their bodies and the female body is something that should be celebrated and not covered up. Buying into this concept might be easy if there were no such thing as “the glass ceiling”, sexual harassment, eating disorders, and the constant sexual objectification of teen girls and women on almost every media outlet.

The niqab is a relatively new concept in the west. Until recently, Americans would be most familiar with the face veiling from episodes of I Dream of Jeanni or from images of seductive and mysterious belly dancers from various films.

However, in these post 9/11 times, images of the niqab come to the west in forms of Afghan women covered in head-to-toe burqas in worn-torn Afghanitan. We read and watch news stories about women who are confined to their homes, not allowed to go to school or work. We read about young women falling victim to honor-killings and forced nuptials. Images of veiled women being beaten in the streets for having their ankles exposed immediately resurface when the American thinks about the niqab.

The trick question: What about American niqabbis? Not only immigrant women, but many American Muslim converts have adopted the niqab to demonstrate modesty and rebellion against a sexed-up culture. Some of these women even consider the niqab as a symbol of feminist liberation, taking back their rights over their bodies and the way society judges them. Some Western societies feel the niqab as being an threat, and have actually banned the garmet. This is one thing mini skirt wearers won’t have to worry about unless they visit Saudi-Arabia or another country where there are modesty laws in place for women.

“Their husbands force them to wear it”, “They are oppressing themselves”, “They have no identity.” Sure, these sentiments could be true of some women who don the niqab, just as the exact same sentiments could be true of a woman who sports a mini skirt. When it comes down to it, a piece of cloth cannot oppress a woman. A government, a society, an employer, husband, or father: they can oppress. They can misuse their authority to keep women down by denying them education and filling their minds with the words of men, instead of the words of God.

Society can oppress by portraying an unattainable image of what beauty should be and shove it down the throats of young impressionable girls and women everyday through every vessel. Oppressive husbands use insults and physical domination to hold down their women. A niqab, a miniskirt, an advertisement, a written or unwritten law, and sexist epithets are just a few examples of the devices for which oppressors can use to make women feel and exist as a lesser gender.

Do you get it? We are focusing on the wrong thing! Niqab? Mini-skirt? These things mean nothing. Educating minds and nurturing souls should be at the forefront of discussion. Let a woman have confidence. Let her believe in her God-given attributes. Let her build up her character and her faith and connection to God. By always focusing on what a woman is wearing or not wearing, we are encouraging the actions of the oppressors. We are tearing down the fragile state of the teenage girl, who is just beginning to figure out where her place is in the world. By empowering our women, we are empowering our societies. By oppressing our women, we are oppressing mankind.

The Prophet Muhammad said, may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him:
“Your Heaven lies under the feet of your mother.” (Ahmad, Nasai)

Judge Not!

The Meaning of Thanksgiving

I hate to be the one to ruin everybody's festivities, but where truth lies, it must be uncovered. What is thanksgiving? What does it represent? In school we were taught about the Mayflower and a wonderful feast between the Native Americans and the Pilgrims. The truth? Yes Native Americans, like Squanto, taught the Europeans all about this "new world" and how to cultivate it. What did they get in return for their services? 93 epidemics between 1520 and 1918, including 41 eruptions of smallpox. European disease wiped out 95% of the East Coastal tribal population. What else did the Europeans "give" to the Natives? Destroying their land, their bison, and their culture. Enslavement and indentured servants.

Okay, so maybe Thanksgiving is engraved in your family tradition, and it's a time of year when everyone has off of work and school and the whole family gets together to create memories and good times. Would it be too much to ask to say a prayer for the fallen civilizations Of aboriginal Americans, like the Iroquois and Seminoles and the displaced Natives of the Mississippi Ohio area like the Osage, Kaw, Ponca and Omaha? Say a prayer for them and for their descendants, who are still feeling the devastating effects of those European settlers.

As for me? I want to be with my family. I want to eat and be joyful, but can I really celebrate the destruction of someone else's culture? Which is a part of my culture, being able to trace the Cherokee blood in my own ancestry. Many Native Americans look at Thanksgiving as a day of mourning. I will never look at Turkey day the same again.

Judge Not!

Finding Peace through Faith, Family, and Creativity

Sometimes Life seems to be moving incredibly fast. It just seems like we are going through the motions without stopping to think or reflect. Sometimes life can seem to be hectic and overwhelming. At these times frustration can overshadow appreciation and patience. Negativity can outweigh positivity... but only if we let it.

What are the things that bring you peace? The things that bring you peace are the things that bring you joy when your situation appears to be grim. The things that bring you peace lift you up when your spirit is dragging on the ground. Your fire is lit; you are recharged; you are ready to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and face the world with a renewed optimism.

These are the things that bring me peace:

Wudu and Prayer: Wudu is the process Muslims preform of cleaning oneself before the prayer. This ablution purifies both the body and the spirit. Salat is the prayer preformed by Muslims five times a day (or at least we try!). For me the actual motions of standing and prostrating to my Lord while reciting the Arabic prayer brings a tranquility over my being.

My daughter I would be lying if I said my almost two-year-old was a constant source of tranquility! However, the undying love and appreciation she shows towards me is so terrific! And her smile and infectious laugh are instant mood lifters!

Writing: Everyone needs an outlet, and for me that is writing. Whether it be poetry, short stories, journal entries or blogs; writing has always been there for me- a constant companion through the good and the bad times.

Judge Not!

A Blogger's Life...

Hey everybody! I haven't written in my blog in such a long time! But don't worry, I haven't stopped writing. I've been taking Eng 101 and Eng 223. The latter is a creative writing class, and I must say it is much more challenging than I imagined. We have to write short stories(5-15 pgs.)which is really fun. The not so fun part is getting all the criticism from the teacher and the other classmates. Even though I must say, I have grown to appreciate the constructive criticism.

Anyways, the reason I brought this up is because my stories have always had Muslim characters. I purposely did this just to show that Muslims are humans that experience life with all its ups and downs just like everyone else. However, some of the responses I've received from my classmates are disparaging. In one story, the husband was not supportive of his wife, and I got a comment saying that was indicative of the Muslim "culture" (ignorant of the fact Muslims come from a vast number of cultures). So my next story had a really supportive husband, and I was told that was "unrealistic because Muslim women are not respected by their husbands." The student went on to admit that all she knew about Muslims was from the negative media reports, and in those reports "Muslim women have to bow down to their husbands."

I must say, I have never heard that particular thing said about Muslim women, but it is often implied in the media that Muslim women are "living in the shadows" of their male counterparts. So I'm left at a crossroad- How can I relate the American-Muslim experience to people who are so brainwashed about Islam, that they won't even entertain the thought of Muslims being "normal" people? I have some ideas... I'll keep you updated!

Judge Not!

Is That a Bomb in Your Pants or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

Nigerian Bomber, Umar Farouk Abdulmuttalib, AKA "Hot Pants" tried to commit acts of terrorism on December 25, 2009.

I wanted to take this opportunity to say that this sexually frustrated, Islamically adrift, coo-coo young man is not a person would I would feel sorry for, look up to, or be proud of in any matter.

Anyone who puts a bomb in there britches in the name of Islam is truly lost...

... Did he learn nothing from Wiley Coyote?

-Judge Not!

Keepin My Game Tight- Part II, In Marriage

In Marriage:

"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are the devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husbands) absence what Allah would have them guard . . ." Surah An Nisaa (The Women), ayat 34, Holy Quran.

This ayat has been at the center of controversy perhaps for hundreds of years. Non-believers use it to deter women from entering Islam and oppressors use it to oppress our beautiful Muslim sisters. The bottom line is this: it is the word of GOD. If you can not find any good in it, it is because of your own ignorance or devious agenda. Here is the good I got from this beautiful ayat:

Men are the protectors and providers for their family, even if the woman is making more money, he is still responsible for the welfare of the family. But here's the kicker: women have an extremely important role in protecting and maintaining the safety and security of the household as well. I will give you an example:

There is a group of Muslim women sitting around talking loose about their marital affairs; this is a breech of security: a safety risk. If my husband is going through a tough time, it is my duty to uphold the dignity of the family, not to talk bad about him behind his back. Everything comes full circle. Muslims are just people and people are weak. Now everyone is looking at this brother sideways because his own wife has been slandering his character. People laugh and jest about him as soon as he leaves the room. And this is not just a reflection on him, but his household.

Seeking counseling from an Imam or other qualified source is encouraged in Islam, however backbiting and exposing the faults of ANYONE is forbidden. Insulting your spouse is like insulting yourself. If my husband is no good and I plan on staying with him, but I just want to slander his name, how can I consider myself to be any better than my no good husband?

Lesson of the Day: Keep my game tight. Allah gave me all the tools, but it’s up to me to use them. Allah knows Best.

Judge Not!

Keepin' My Game Tight: Part I, Faith

This slang phrase has long been popular amongst the gangsters and players. When one "keeps their game tight", they don't have any slip ups; every word and every move must be a calculated one, because any frivolous action or reaction made out of emotions could bring the roof tumbling down on their heads.

This anecdote can be applied to any area of life. This is how I have applied it in mine:

In Faith:

"Say, He is Allah the One; Allah, the Eternal, Absolute; He begetteth not, nor is He begotten; And there is none like unto Him."Surah Al-Iklas (The Purity of Faith), Holy Quran.

With this I remind myself that God is a merciful God, and can forgive just about anything with true repentance. Anything except associating partners with Him. This sin is a grave one and sometimes we commit it in stages. We get so wrapped up in our spouses, children, jobs, hobbies, mortgages, etc. that over time, we have eventually made these things our God. Allowing anyone or anything to completely occupy and determine your every thought and action is a form of worship.

If we define our existence by these things, what would happen to us should they no longer be present in our lives? Houses can be foreclosed, wealth can be lost, people will die. Shall we kill ourselves when these things happen? Shall we bury ourselves in grief layer upon layer until it is like you are dead? Certainly not.

Yes, I must keep my game tight. I mustn't get so wrapped up in my love for my family, that I rest my fate in their hands. I love them for the sake of Allah. If I live by this I can not be broken. I can not be deteriorated. My faith will be strong and unrelenting, God willing.

-Judge Not!

Finding my Purpose

I haven't posted any blogs in the past few days because I've been working on my lastest venture at Suite101. On this "soft news" site, I am a contributing publisher. When I first signed up, I thought- writing web articles and getting paid? Sounds like a great idea! However, I am now learning that, unlike blogging, writing news articles can be a grueling process. Especially when you are lacking a journalism degree.

Okay, this isn't supposed to be sounding all down and out- I do love it! It's just that I haven't been challenged in this way in a long time. In school, sometimes I would run from challenge- take the easy, lazy road. But now I am an adult with responsibilities and I realize that nothing is free in this world. For me, that means that even doing what you love to do can be very hard work, so one just has to learn to love working hard.

Writing for Suite 101 is a giant leap of faith because there is no garauntee that any revenue will be generated. By picking good topics and writing attractive titles, one can increase the likelyhood of web traffic going to their article, hence increasing the likelyhood of being paid by advertisers. So, here I go, once again, refining my purpose in life, paving a new road to travel. May Allah give us all strength in finding our purpose.

-Judge Not!

My Moral Mortality

Death. Dying. Dead. Fatality. Mortality. Grave. Mourning. Moving On.

Okay, I got if of my chest. Whew, That felt pretty good actually. This is a hard subject to talk about, whether it be in a blog, or with friends or even at a place of worship. We all know that death is the inevitable. As a Muslim I understand that "Every soul shall have the taste of death" Holy Quran 3:185. So I sit here in the middle of the night and I contemplate.

Initially, I think about the meaning of death; the moment of death. I ask myself, "How soon will I be forgotten on this Earth? A day? A month? A year? Twenty years? When will I become just a picture from another time buried in someones basement?" I know I am not supposed to be scared of death, but like many others, I struggle with that aspect. I'm just too darn inquisitive! I could keep myself up all night thinking about the Hows, Whys, Whens and Wheres. So instead I just decide to get it all out in these two paragraphs so I can move on to something much more tangible: LIFE.

I think this must be the key. For those of us who believe in an afterlife, we have to constantly consider what we are doing in this life that will affect our fate in the next. Will I be rewarded or punished? However, this is not our only driving force to do good by ourselves, our loved ones, and the society at large. Have you ever asked yourself why all the atheist of the world are not ruthless psycotic serial killers? Well fortunately for the human race, God has hard-wired us to want to do good(whether we accept his favor or not.) There will always be temptation to do bad, but for the overwhelming majority of the human race, WE WANT TO DO GOOD. Have you ever been in a situation when you know you can do something really wrong and get away with it, but you just don't do it? Or if you do act on your michieveous thoughts, you immediately feel a heavy weight of guilt? These are the attributes that makes us human: God's most complex creation.

Where am I going with this? LIVE YOUR LIFE THE BEST YOU CAN RIGHT NOW! Not a person on this earth knows the exact moment when they will breath their last breath, but we all know it's coming . . . sooner for some, later for the rest. We have no choice about of death, but we have the choice to do something good, bad or in between right now. Do something good for a complete sranger, or someone you love dearly. Don't get so overly consumed with the day to day struggles that you are not enjoying your life. Marrige, children, jobs, and worship can become so routine that we are not cherishing those special moments that make life so valuble. Many of life's seasons can be bittersweet: developing an aquired taste is the best advice I can give. Allah knows best!

-Judge Not!

MICHAEL JACKSON . . . The Soundtrack of My Childhood

Thriller, Beat it, Billie Jean, Black or White, Rock With You, Human Nature, The Girl is Mine . . . Need I say more? I googled "Michael Jackson" and 68 million websites popped up- 68 MILLION! I don't "worship" MJ, or even idolize him, but his impact on the history of the world cannot be ignored!

On rainy days, the NTA's used to play Michael Jackson Videos for all the students at my elementary school. I remember being in the second grade and hearing accusations of MJ molesting that young boy in 1992. At seven years old, I was simply disgusted with the accusation and vehemently defended Mr. Jackson; my conviction wasn't based on evidence or testimony, just on the simple known fact that HE WAS THE MAN. His dance skills superseded all others. His songs were catchy yet thoughtful; poppy yet R&B, smooth yet upbeat. There were songs for partying: Rock With You. Songs for love-making: You Are Not Alone. Songs for getting into mischief: Smooth Criminal or BAD. And songs for World Peace: Heal the World. There was a song for everyone and every occasion.

As I watch CNN at 3:04 am Friday, 12 hours after the death of the King of Pop, they are talking so much about the upcoming autopsy and the cause of his death. I would like to dedicate this blog not to Michael Jackson's death, but to his life. A life that has impacted millions of other lives. Not a God, but a man, with flaws, shortcomings and talent unmatched. Michael Jackson took his shahada several months back, therefore he is also my brother in Islam- May Allah grant you paradise, Michael.

My favorite Michael Jackson song? Man in the Mirror. We could all learn something from Man in The Mirror.

-Judge Not!

I AM WOMAN

I like to call myself a realistic feminist. First I must give my definition of an unrealistic feminist: A woman who believes that women are equal to men in every way, shape and form and should be treated as such. After giving birth to my daughter, I am left without a doubt that woman and man are NOT created equal: there is no way my husband could have survived childbirth! I mean seriously, our bodies are just built for it- yes even the 1st so-called "pregnant man" (which obviously proves that a woman can call themselves a man, but God can reveal otherwise.)

I think the women's liberation movement was great because the truth is that we live in a misogynist society and sometimes drastic measures have to be taken to acquire civil rights. All I ask, is do not take away my God given right to be a wonderful, powerful, strong, unique WOMAN. It doesn't bother me that my husband has more upper body strength. As I watch the ways in which we interact with our daughter, they are not the same, and I am thankful for that. Women and men have unique qualities to bring to the table- in business, education, marriage, and child-rearing- one not more important than the other. Allah has created us in a dynamic fashion that we may never fully understand, but we can accept. The sooner one accepts and appreciates their attributes , the sooner one will be secure with the mind, body and soul God gave them. THANK GOD FOR WOMAN! . . . AND MAN!

-Judge Not!

The Art of Arguing

True to the name of this blog, I am always digging for knowledge. After all, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) commanded for us to "Seek knowledge from the cradle to the grave." However I have found that it is all to easy to slip into the mode of seeking conflict rather than truly seeking knowledge. Far too many times I will read an enlightening hadith or book written by a renowned scholar, then all of a sudden I think I am qualified enough to teach this precious new information to others. Then when someone disagrees with me, I feel the need to defend my point view to point where I find myself in a debate on a subject that I probably no very little about. Is it pride that drives me to the point of arguing with my fellow Muslims and beloved non-Muslim family and friends? Do I harvest an insatiable hunger to be right all the time? Surely I cannot be that egotistical? Well, I won't be that hard on myself, but I noticed that sometimes I can get so wrapped up in proving a point, that I myself is not willing to accept a different point of view. What happen to agreeing to disagree? I've discovered that when it comes to matters of religion, people are very sensitive because it is hard to admit that we have been serving our Lord incorrectly, whether through dress, prayer, or understanding our holy books. Ego also plays a part- a man doesn't want to be corrected by a woman, or an Arab by an Indonesian, or a parent by a child, or a teacher by a student, or an American convert by an Muslim-born immigrant . . . and the list goes on.

I think we can all learn to teach to and learn from each other with a greater sense of sensitivity and wisdom: maybe we are both right or perhaps we could both be wrong. Whatever the case, always seek refuge with Allah from the whisperings of the shatan before entering a discussion. Ask Allah to purify your intentions so that we are not just intentionally starting an argument for the sake of being right.

Judge Not!

JUDGE NOT!

My dear parents came to visit me from Philadelphia and of course I had to take them to see the sights and the lights of the Las Vegas strip. So I prepared myself for the too close for comfort crowds, the smoky casinos, and all the haram goings-on, but I did not prepare to JUDGE NOT. . . I was fine at first cruising from casino to casino pushing my baby stroller, wearing a colorful hijab and matching tunic. Then we landed at the Fashion Show mall food court. As my parents chowed down, my eye caught a glimpse of a scantily clad young woman laughing with her friends. All of a sudden I became fixated on this woman, clad in a purple spandex mini-dress, sparkly gold strappy platform heels, platinum gold long hair extensions, too-blue-to-be-true contact lenses, and enough make-up to paint the Sistine Chapel! My fixation quickly progressed to obsession as I thought: “Wow, she really thinks she’s cute. Ha!" “I mean she’s dressed like a two-dollar whore!” “No respectable man would be attracted to THAT!” Then I became all pious, thinking: “Poor thing, she needs Islam”. “She just doesn’t know any better. SHE IS LOST”.

Well, the truth is, I still have fleeting thoughts about that woman I saw in the food court over a month ago. I went home that night and pondered on why I had reacted in such a vehement fashion. My conclusion: She is me and I am her. I did to her what many people may be doing to me everyday. I judged her; and that was a dangerous thing. Once we start making assumptions about each other, we start to categorize them and usually we use this compartmentalizing to then elevate ourselves above our own downfalls and imperfections, i.e. “I am better because . . .” In my situation, who was more in the wrong; the woman in the tight dress or the woman in the hijab who judged and slandered the woman in the tight dress? As Muslims, we often recite Allah Knows Best, but do we really believe it and put it into practice?

Let’s not forget that all of us have a story and all of us have secrets that only a few people know, or maybe that only you and Allah know. As headlines in February wrote, “Muslim TV Mogul Muzzammil Hassan’s alleged beheading of wife, Asiya Hassan, may be honor killing”, I thought Oh God, Islam will surely be blamed for this one! Society has shown us many clear examples of how dangerous judging can be, yet we continue to cast fellow Muslims and fellow human beings into the hellfire. Allah is the only one with that authority because he is the only one who sees into the hearts of men.

We are far from perfect as individuals and we are far from perfect as Muslims. We can’t give dawah (inviting others to Islam) by pointing and whispering and we certainly can’t build our iman (faith) by shifting the blame. We all have skeletons in the closet, so when you see someone with their bones exposed, remember you are one soft layer away from being exposed yourself! These ayats have helped me think twice before I judge, and InshAllah (God willing) it will help you too. Read. Recite. Absorb.

Al Maida (5:48-50) Holy Qur’an

“To thee we sent the scripture in truth, confirming the scripture that came before it, and guarding it in safety: so judge between them what Allah hath revealed, and follow not their vain desires, diverging from the truth that hath come to thee. To each among you have we prescribed a law and an open way. If Allah had so willed, he would have made you a single people, but (His plan is) to test you in what He hath given you: so strive as in a race in all virtues. The goal of you all is with Allah; it is he that shows you the truth of the matters in which ye dispute;

And this (He commands): Judge thou between them by what Allah hath revealed, and follow not their vain desires, but beware of them lest they beguile thee from any of that (teaching) which Allah has sent down to thee. And if they turn away, be sure that for some of their crimes it is Allah's purpose to punish them. And truly most men are rebellious.

Do they then seek after a judgment of (The Days of) Ignorance? But who, for a people whose faith is assured, can give better judgment that Allah?”

That’s deep. Allah knows best.

Wives . . . one . . .two . . .three. . . or four?

There is always a lot of talk in the community amongst the brothers and the sisters about brothers acquiring multiple wives and/ wives from overseas. I would like to start a forum on the subject supported by findings from the Qur’an and Examples of the Holy Prophet (PBUH), the sunnah.

We have recently concluded a two month study of the Prophet’s wives in our Sisters class at the masjid. In no way does this deem me a scholar on the subject, but I did learn some beautiful and useful things about The Holy Prophet (PBUH) and his dealings with marriage. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) had eleven wives (give or take one depending on your source). His marriage to Khadijah, his first wife, lasted for 25 years, during which time he was monogamous. After Khadijah died, over the span of the rest of his prophethood he married Sauda, Ayesha, Hafsa, Zainab, Ume Salima, Zainab d/o Jahash Al Assadya, Javeria, Ramla Ume Habibah, Safia, and Maimona- May Allah be Pleased with the all. Ayesha was the only never married virgin the Prophet (PBUH) married. All the other wives were widows, freed slaves, or divorcees.

I will be the first to say I am not a scholar or shehka of any sort and may Allah forgive me if I have missed the mark in this article, but my intentions are not malicious. When we studied the example of the Prophet (PBUH), we learned that after the death of Khadijah, the Holy Prophet took on the other ten wives over time with the noblest intentions and all of his marriages symbolized something of a greater good for the Ummah.

. . .Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or that your right hand possesses. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.
Holy Quran, An-Nisaa:3

To my understanding, Allah has given man a great mercy and protection with this surah. This surah can protect men from committing an abominable sin- zina: adultery. Taking more than one wife can also make a community stronger by cutting down on the rate of single women and orphans, if there are not enough eligible men in the community. There are many blessings in polygamy as can be seen in the examples of the Holy Prophet (PBUH). The Holy Prophet said,

“Oh young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains the eyes from casting (evil glances) and preserves one from immorality”

Marriage is 50% of our dean and should be respected and upheld as such. My concern lies where some brothers are not taking accountability for their matrimonial choices, or perhaps more concerning are the types of conversations that are taking place concerning this subject. I will address the African American Muslim community because that is what I am familiar with. We must reflect on the ayat,

. . . that is nearer to you to prevent you from doing injustice. An-Nisaa:3

I’m going to talk straight for a moment- Why is taking up a second wife so illuminating of a topic amongst many black brothers who have already done an injustice to our community by having multiple children out of wedlock who they barely see, much less have a parental role? Don’t get me wrong, I love my brothers and give them my endless support. I also understand the struggles with dealing with non-Muslim mothers of your children who may reject your faith and the influence you have in your children’s lives. Unfortunately that does not diminish the fact that fatherless children is an epidemic in the black community. 70% of black children are born to single mothers. Compared to their two parent counterparts, these children are far less likely to get a high school diploma, much less a college degree. These children (especially boys) are more likely to be in and out of the penitentiary and more likely to repeat the trend of having children out of wedlock.

Muslims are not exempt from these statistics. According to Islam city.com, the Muslim divorce rate is about 1/3. However I would hypothesize that number being larger among Black Muslims because I witness many marriages that never get officially recorded, and end shortly after in divorce. My question is- What happens to the children? There are many brothers who have children from previous relationships who they are not taking a hand in raising. Sadly, sometimes instead brothers empowering each other to be better fathers and husbands to the ones they have, there is immense encouragement for these brothers to take on more wives.

. . . that is nearer to you to prevent you from doing injustice. An-Nisaa:3

What if taking on a second, third, or fourth wife is doing an injustice to your family, the Ummah, and the community? I also have heard some African-American Muslim brothers complain about black women- black muslim women! The oath that their next wife will be from overseas. Allah (SWT) has taught us that no race is superior or inferior to another, and the Holy Prophet (PBUH) married women from different tribes. I love my Muslimahs from overseas and May Allah bless their marriages to whomever they choose. The issue I am raising is of the self-hatred many African Americans have. If you hate black women and you are black that means you hate your mothers, your daughters, your lineage. Even if you had children before you took your shahada, it is against Islam to discard of them as you attempt to embark on the path of the mustaqin (righteous).

Like many masjids across the country, the one I attend is located in a ghetto, amidst the drug dealers, pimps, and poverty. I grew up in similar surroundings in Philadelphia. As Muslims, we have to get off our high horse and ask ourselves “Have I contributed to the degradation of my community?” It is my guess that we have all at some point in time been enablers to the dilapidation of our community. This article was not intended in any way to attack our wonderful Muslim brothers who have denounced so much of the jahilliyah to do better for themselves and for the Ummah. At Masjid As-Sabur, I am witness to the selfless acts of brothers who serve Allah though worship and community service. This is merely a reminder that we can all do better. The black community is in dire need for us to lead by example. As Muslims it is our obligation to ask Allah to set us on the righteous path so that we may all step up and do the right thing by making decisions that will prevent us from doing an injustice.
Allah Knows Best.

-Judge Not!