Ihsan: Let Your Faith Bring You Ease

This was almost written for my mommy blog. But then I realized that everyone could relate and perhaps benefit, with the will of Allah.

Disclaimer: I am not a scholar of any sort! But I am a mom, a wife, a human and a Believer in Allah. I go through trials and try my best to repent, learn, and change for the better, with the help and guidance of Allah.

As humans, we often look for validation and praise for the things we do. Many of us may not want to admit that. The reason this was initially for the moms was because they do so much that no one will ever see or express gratitude or appreciation for. Sometimes it’s not even enough to know we are doing what’s essentially right. She cleans, cooks, and nurtures the children all day long, but no one is there to notice. She nurses an infant and stays up all night when everyone is sleeping. No one notices. All they see is a lethargic person the next day whose hair is dishelved and voice raspy.  And because of this, many mothers and wives build resentment and some may look for validation within society. When you get an A on a college paper, you receive appreciation and praise for your hard work. When you complete a project at work, you get praised and financially compensated.

What compensation do we receive for doing good deeds?

Ihsan has many meanings. When I was first introduced to the word, it was in the context of God-consciousness. Not just any type of consciousness, but an awareness of Allah so strong that you live your life as if you can actually see Him (in a spiritual sense of course). Do you pray when no one is watching? Are you kind and patient with your infant child, although knowing she cannot tell anyone if you were not? Would you help someone in need even if no one was around to smile at you or pat you on the back? Would you fast if you were in seclusion, with no one to witness the sacrifice you have made?

Allah knows. Allah sees. And the angles are recording what you do.

Do you really believe that? We say we believe, but the real belief is in the practice. Ihsan is a way to live our lives. This Ramadan is the perfect time to strive towards having ihsan. Allah has made it easy for us because doing good usually feels good too. We were created to have an inclination towards the good.

With Ihsan, we will be happier and more content.

Sometimes it’s the small efforts we do to make other’s lives easier. If you vacuum the rug everyday while no one is around, most likely they will not express gratitude for your act. They key is to eliminate that craving for appreciation for every little act. We can start this by shifting our energy towards giving gratitude, instead of expecting it. After completing a good deed, thank Allah that you had the energy and strength to complete the deed. Thank Allah that you were able to make someone else’s life easier, because only through Allah’s mercy is these actions possible. If we expressed gratitude every time we did something good, our faith will be increased, inshaAllah. Our thoughts will turn towards the light instead of the darkness, and we will be content and happy with our lives.

Leaving you with this and a sincere prayer that we can find peace and satisfaction in knowing that Allah is watching all the time and that is always enough. Ameen.

The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “(Ihsan is) it’s to worship Allah as you are seeing Him and while you see Him not yet truly He sees you.” (Al-Bukhari, Hadith No. 48)

Islam: Where Would We Be Without It?

·      Question: Does The Koran* come off as tolerant of foreign peoples and religions Or do you detect seeds of intolerance within it? Obviously, various Islamic extremist groups have used the book to justify their repeated violence, from 1998 onwards.
* Koran is the spelling used in the textbook, The Norton Anthology of Western Literature. It should be noted the correct English transliteration accepted and used by English-speaking Muslims is Qur'an.

In an initial review of "The Koran," one might find it as sexist or intolerant of other religions. However, upon further research, it is clear that The Qur'an is a book that brought guidance and structure to many societies and people across the globe. If the book were intolerant or oppressive, Islam would not be the fastest growing religion in the world, practiced by over two billion Muslims worldwide.

The Koran came at a time in Arabian history where there were many idol worshipers. In Chapter 1, The Exordium, the scripture sets out the first and most important rule of Islam: There is no God, except for the One true God, proclaiming: “You alone we worship and You alone do we ask for help." A common misconception in Western society is that “Allah” is the “Muslim God” and Muhammad is the “Muslim Jesus.” But nothing could be farther from the truth. Allah is the same God of the Christians and the Jews, and Muhammad and Jesus are both considered prophets in Islam. If you ask a Muslim what religion the prophets Abraham or Moses or Noah were, they would say Muslim because a Muslim is a person who believes in the one true God, the God of All Mankind.

The next except from The Koran is Chapter 4: The Women. There are lots of rules and regulations laid out in this chapter. For instance, “Let not the rich guardian touch the property of his orphan ward; and let not him who is poor use more than a fair portion of it for its own advantage.” When Westerners talk about “Shari’a Law” the misconception is that it is some rule book the Muslims made up to oppress women and restrict society. Shari’a is no more than the rules and regulations that were laid out in the Qur’an to justly run society. This except is a perfect example of a small section of Shari’a law. This is a clear sign that the Koran is a protection for those who are oppressed and vulnerable.

Perhaps the most debated over ayat (verse) in the entire of The Koran is this one also from Chapter 4, The Women,

Men have the authority over women because God had made one superior to the other, and because they spend their wealth to maintain them. Good women are obedient. They guard their unseen parts because God has guarded them. As for those who fear their disobedience, admonish them and forsake them beds apart, and beat them. Then if they obey you, take no further action against them. Surely God is high, supreme.

At first read, this verse takes one aback. The words seem straight forward: Women are weaker than men, therefore they should be obedient, and if they disobey, punish them, even beat them if necessary! Whenever such strong statements are written, further research must be done. Upon researching many Islamic websites it is clear that Arabic is a very rich language and it is very hard to translate many words into other languages. “Beat” to English-speakers sounds very harsh, but just like the King James Version of the Bible, perhaps it should be considered that many things get lost in translation. This one small verse is used to label an entire population of Muslim men as misogynistic woman beaters, but sometimes one has to give leeway for misunderstandings.

The PBS documentary, Islam: an Empireof Faith: The Awakening and The Messenger were particularly eye-opening because they detailed the history and contribution the Islamic civilization made to the world:

“For the West, much of the history of Islam has been obscured behind a veil of fear and misunderstanding. Yet Islam’s history is deeply and surprisingly interwoven with Western civilization. It was Muslim scholars who reclaimed much of the ancient wisdom of the Greeks while much of Europe languished in the Dark Ages." (Empire of Faith)

Islamic scholars contributed math, science, and astrology to the world, when Europe was in their Dark Ages. Modern civilization owes much architecture, medicine, and literature to beginning in Islamic culture and society. Hospitals, the arches in churches, and mass recording of literature were all inventions of the Muslims around 1000 A.D. If this religion was full of terrorists, heretics, and fundamentalist, how could these advances been possible? It is obvious these people encompassed open minds and open hearts. After all, it was the Christian Crusaders sent by the Pope in Europe who acted as barbarians, burning towns to the ground, raping women and creating mayhem. And later, it was the fierce Mongols from Asia, who came to the East to conquer and destroy, but were overtaken by Islam and ended up spreading the religion to all of Asia. There is evidence of this today, being that there are more Muslims in Asia than any other continent in the world.

Islam is not a cult and it is not intolerant. Furthermore, anyone who might claim that it transformed into a violent religion as of latter times is misguided. The terrorists and fundamentalist make up a minute portion of the Muslims of the world. And even the misguided Muslims did not just become that way overnight: it could be argued that oppression and extreme poverty in the Middle East (and other countries around the world where there is drought and poverty like parts of Africa and Asia) became a breeding ground for anger and violence.

Whatever the reasons may be, it is important to clear up misconceptions so that Islamaphobia and hate towards Muslims does not continue to grow in the West. History can be used to teach the modern peoples about the contributions the Muslims made to the world and also to explain their rituals and beliefs, so that it is not considered to be strange or foreign. The Empire of Faith began its presentation with these words: “Islamic civilization has been one of humanities grandest achievements.” The people in the west need to know this and embrace it, so that further tensions can be quelled.

Spiritual Growth

Have you been reciting the same four surahs of the Quran or Biblical passages for the past ten years? Have you been using the same hadith to defend a certain thing you do/ do not do since you started practicing Islam? Are you a Christian that has never been to a different church and never met new people who may worship the Lord differently than you? Well, I think it is time for some spiritual growth.

Typical scenario: woman is searching for the meaning of life > she does much research looking into different religions > she finds Islam and is intrigued and enlightened > she takes classes, studying the deen day and night and is inspired > woman embraces Islam as her religion > woman finds a masjid, makes friends, marries, and Whamo! Contentment creeps in. She still loves the deen, but the vigor she once had to better herself and learn more about her religion has subsided.

We can find a million and one excuses to not learn more and then as the years go by, slowly but surely our contentment turns into stubbornness and arrogance. And this goes for converts and well as those born into the religion. A sister who was born into a Muslim family once told me, “When you are raised in a Muslim household, it is important that you rediscover the religion as an adult.” The sister warned, for those who do not continue to learn into adulthood, their Islam can be a confusion of culture, ritual and heresy.

It is important that we in the human race grow and develop. Stagnation of the mind and the spirit can be a very dangerous thing. This is how racism and prejudice become imbedded into a culture; when people don’t educate themselves, they will adhere to the ways of old, without any real reasoning or contemplation on their part.

Idleness is the enemy. Every second that goes by should be devoted to something constructive. Whether it is taking on a new language, painting, feeding the homeless or just good old fashioned reading, we much keep our minds active. If we train our minds to seek knowledge constantly in the secular world, we will automatically yearn to seek knowledge and understanding in the spiritual world. We will ask questions and we will enjoy looking for the answers.

And Surah Luqman makes it clear:

31:6      But there are, among men, those who purchase idle tales, without knowledge (or meaning), to mislead (men) from the Path of Allah and throw ridicule (on the Path): for such there will be a Humiliating Penalty.

31:7      When Our Signs are rehearsed to such a one, he turns away in arrogance, as if he heard them not, as if there were deafness in both his ears: announce to him a grievous Penalty.

Is That a Bomb in Your Pants or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

Nigerian Bomber, Umar Farouk Abdulmuttalib, AKA "Hot Pants" tried to commit acts of terrorism on December 25, 2009.

I wanted to take this opportunity to say that this sexually frustrated, Islamically adrift, coo-coo young man is not a person would I would feel sorry for, look up to, or be proud of in any matter.

Anyone who puts a bomb in there britches in the name of Islam is truly lost...

... Did he learn nothing from Wiley Coyote?

-Judge Not!

Keepin My Game Tight- Part II, In Marriage

In Marriage:

"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are the devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husbands) absence what Allah would have them guard . . ." Surah An Nisaa (The Women), ayat 34, Holy Quran.

This ayat has been at the center of controversy perhaps for hundreds of years. Non-believers use it to deter women from entering Islam and oppressors use it to oppress our beautiful Muslim sisters. The bottom line is this: it is the word of GOD. If you can not find any good in it, it is because of your own ignorance or devious agenda. Here is the good I got from this beautiful ayat:

Men are the protectors and providers for their family, even if the woman is making more money, he is still responsible for the welfare of the family. But here's the kicker: women have an extremely important role in protecting and maintaining the safety and security of the household as well. I will give you an example:

There is a group of Muslim women sitting around talking loose about their marital affairs; this is a breech of security: a safety risk. If my husband is going through a tough time, it is my duty to uphold the dignity of the family, not to talk bad about him behind his back. Everything comes full circle. Muslims are just people and people are weak. Now everyone is looking at this brother sideways because his own wife has been slandering his character. People laugh and jest about him as soon as he leaves the room. And this is not just a reflection on him, but his household.

Seeking counseling from an Imam or other qualified source is encouraged in Islam, however backbiting and exposing the faults of ANYONE is forbidden. Insulting your spouse is like insulting yourself. If my husband is no good and I plan on staying with him, but I just want to slander his name, how can I consider myself to be any better than my no good husband?

Lesson of the Day: Keep my game tight. Allah gave me all the tools, but it’s up to me to use them. Allah knows Best.

Judge Not!

My Moral Mortality

Death. Dying. Dead. Fatality. Mortality. Grave. Mourning. Moving On.

Okay, I got if of my chest. Whew, That felt pretty good actually. This is a hard subject to talk about, whether it be in a blog, or with friends or even at a place of worship. We all know that death is the inevitable. As a Muslim I understand that "Every soul shall have the taste of death" Holy Quran 3:185. So I sit here in the middle of the night and I contemplate.

Initially, I think about the meaning of death; the moment of death. I ask myself, "How soon will I be forgotten on this Earth? A day? A month? A year? Twenty years? When will I become just a picture from another time buried in someones basement?" I know I am not supposed to be scared of death, but like many others, I struggle with that aspect. I'm just too darn inquisitive! I could keep myself up all night thinking about the Hows, Whys, Whens and Wheres. So instead I just decide to get it all out in these two paragraphs so I can move on to something much more tangible: LIFE.

I think this must be the key. For those of us who believe in an afterlife, we have to constantly consider what we are doing in this life that will affect our fate in the next. Will I be rewarded or punished? However, this is not our only driving force to do good by ourselves, our loved ones, and the society at large. Have you ever asked yourself why all the atheist of the world are not ruthless psycotic serial killers? Well fortunately for the human race, God has hard-wired us to want to do good(whether we accept his favor or not.) There will always be temptation to do bad, but for the overwhelming majority of the human race, WE WANT TO DO GOOD. Have you ever been in a situation when you know you can do something really wrong and get away with it, but you just don't do it? Or if you do act on your michieveous thoughts, you immediately feel a heavy weight of guilt? These are the attributes that makes us human: God's most complex creation.

Where am I going with this? LIVE YOUR LIFE THE BEST YOU CAN RIGHT NOW! Not a person on this earth knows the exact moment when they will breath their last breath, but we all know it's coming . . . sooner for some, later for the rest. We have no choice about of death, but we have the choice to do something good, bad or in between right now. Do something good for a complete sranger, or someone you love dearly. Don't get so overly consumed with the day to day struggles that you are not enjoying your life. Marrige, children, jobs, and worship can become so routine that we are not cherishing those special moments that make life so valuble. Many of life's seasons can be bittersweet: developing an aquired taste is the best advice I can give. Allah knows best!

-Judge Not!

MICHAEL JACKSON . . . The Soundtrack of My Childhood

Thriller, Beat it, Billie Jean, Black or White, Rock With You, Human Nature, The Girl is Mine . . . Need I say more? I googled "Michael Jackson" and 68 million websites popped up- 68 MILLION! I don't "worship" MJ, or even idolize him, but his impact on the history of the world cannot be ignored!

On rainy days, the NTA's used to play Michael Jackson Videos for all the students at my elementary school. I remember being in the second grade and hearing accusations of MJ molesting that young boy in 1992. At seven years old, I was simply disgusted with the accusation and vehemently defended Mr. Jackson; my conviction wasn't based on evidence or testimony, just on the simple known fact that HE WAS THE MAN. His dance skills superseded all others. His songs were catchy yet thoughtful; poppy yet R&B, smooth yet upbeat. There were songs for partying: Rock With You. Songs for love-making: You Are Not Alone. Songs for getting into mischief: Smooth Criminal or BAD. And songs for World Peace: Heal the World. There was a song for everyone and every occasion.

As I watch CNN at 3:04 am Friday, 12 hours after the death of the King of Pop, they are talking so much about the upcoming autopsy and the cause of his death. I would like to dedicate this blog not to Michael Jackson's death, but to his life. A life that has impacted millions of other lives. Not a God, but a man, with flaws, shortcomings and talent unmatched. Michael Jackson took his shahada several months back, therefore he is also my brother in Islam- May Allah grant you paradise, Michael.

My favorite Michael Jackson song? Man in the Mirror. We could all learn something from Man in The Mirror.

-Judge Not!

The Art of Arguing

True to the name of this blog, I am always digging for knowledge. After all, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) commanded for us to "Seek knowledge from the cradle to the grave." However I have found that it is all to easy to slip into the mode of seeking conflict rather than truly seeking knowledge. Far too many times I will read an enlightening hadith or book written by a renowned scholar, then all of a sudden I think I am qualified enough to teach this precious new information to others. Then when someone disagrees with me, I feel the need to defend my point view to point where I find myself in a debate on a subject that I probably no very little about. Is it pride that drives me to the point of arguing with my fellow Muslims and beloved non-Muslim family and friends? Do I harvest an insatiable hunger to be right all the time? Surely I cannot be that egotistical? Well, I won't be that hard on myself, but I noticed that sometimes I can get so wrapped up in proving a point, that I myself is not willing to accept a different point of view. What happen to agreeing to disagree? I've discovered that when it comes to matters of religion, people are very sensitive because it is hard to admit that we have been serving our Lord incorrectly, whether through dress, prayer, or understanding our holy books. Ego also plays a part- a man doesn't want to be corrected by a woman, or an Arab by an Indonesian, or a parent by a child, or a teacher by a student, or an American convert by an Muslim-born immigrant . . . and the list goes on.

I think we can all learn to teach to and learn from each other with a greater sense of sensitivity and wisdom: maybe we are both right or perhaps we could both be wrong. Whatever the case, always seek refuge with Allah from the whisperings of the shatan before entering a discussion. Ask Allah to purify your intentions so that we are not just intentionally starting an argument for the sake of being right.

Judge Not!

JUDGE NOT!

My dear parents came to visit me from Philadelphia and of course I had to take them to see the sights and the lights of the Las Vegas strip. So I prepared myself for the too close for comfort crowds, the smoky casinos, and all the haram goings-on, but I did not prepare to JUDGE NOT. . . I was fine at first cruising from casino to casino pushing my baby stroller, wearing a colorful hijab and matching tunic. Then we landed at the Fashion Show mall food court. As my parents chowed down, my eye caught a glimpse of a scantily clad young woman laughing with her friends. All of a sudden I became fixated on this woman, clad in a purple spandex mini-dress, sparkly gold strappy platform heels, platinum gold long hair extensions, too-blue-to-be-true contact lenses, and enough make-up to paint the Sistine Chapel! My fixation quickly progressed to obsession as I thought: “Wow, she really thinks she’s cute. Ha!" “I mean she’s dressed like a two-dollar whore!” “No respectable man would be attracted to THAT!” Then I became all pious, thinking: “Poor thing, she needs Islam”. “She just doesn’t know any better. SHE IS LOST”.

Well, the truth is, I still have fleeting thoughts about that woman I saw in the food court over a month ago. I went home that night and pondered on why I had reacted in such a vehement fashion. My conclusion: She is me and I am her. I did to her what many people may be doing to me everyday. I judged her; and that was a dangerous thing. Once we start making assumptions about each other, we start to categorize them and usually we use this compartmentalizing to then elevate ourselves above our own downfalls and imperfections, i.e. “I am better because . . .” In my situation, who was more in the wrong; the woman in the tight dress or the woman in the hijab who judged and slandered the woman in the tight dress? As Muslims, we often recite Allah Knows Best, but do we really believe it and put it into practice?

Let’s not forget that all of us have a story and all of us have secrets that only a few people know, or maybe that only you and Allah know. As headlines in February wrote, “Muslim TV Mogul Muzzammil Hassan’s alleged beheading of wife, Asiya Hassan, may be honor killing”, I thought Oh God, Islam will surely be blamed for this one! Society has shown us many clear examples of how dangerous judging can be, yet we continue to cast fellow Muslims and fellow human beings into the hellfire. Allah is the only one with that authority because he is the only one who sees into the hearts of men.

We are far from perfect as individuals and we are far from perfect as Muslims. We can’t give dawah (inviting others to Islam) by pointing and whispering and we certainly can’t build our iman (faith) by shifting the blame. We all have skeletons in the closet, so when you see someone with their bones exposed, remember you are one soft layer away from being exposed yourself! These ayats have helped me think twice before I judge, and InshAllah (God willing) it will help you too. Read. Recite. Absorb.

Al Maida (5:48-50) Holy Qur’an

“To thee we sent the scripture in truth, confirming the scripture that came before it, and guarding it in safety: so judge between them what Allah hath revealed, and follow not their vain desires, diverging from the truth that hath come to thee. To each among you have we prescribed a law and an open way. If Allah had so willed, he would have made you a single people, but (His plan is) to test you in what He hath given you: so strive as in a race in all virtues. The goal of you all is with Allah; it is he that shows you the truth of the matters in which ye dispute;

And this (He commands): Judge thou between them by what Allah hath revealed, and follow not their vain desires, but beware of them lest they beguile thee from any of that (teaching) which Allah has sent down to thee. And if they turn away, be sure that for some of their crimes it is Allah's purpose to punish them. And truly most men are rebellious.

Do they then seek after a judgment of (The Days of) Ignorance? But who, for a people whose faith is assured, can give better judgment that Allah?”

That’s deep. Allah knows best.

Explaining the concept of “ethical relativism”. What is it’s ever increasing impact on the world?

Ethic relativism leaves every culture to it’s own devices when deciding what is the proper code of conduct. Ethics dictates to us what is right and wrong, fueling our decision making processes. Ethic relativism means that no one culture’s ethics are superior to another’s, and forbids people from passing judgment on a culture’s ethics which are dissimilar from their own.

Ethic relativism could be a great asset to intercultural communication. If the simple concept of empathizing with other peoples ethics was widely practiced, global miscommunications could be avoided. This concept teaches us that we can agree to disagree and still coexist. I agree with ethic relativism to an extent, however living in a culturally diverse nation, I can also see the need for some ethic universalism.

This first example that came to my mind was the controversial Prop 8 decision in California banning same-sex marriage. There has been a tremendous backlash from the Gay community onto the Mormon Church because of their advertisements denouncing Gay marriage. In this case, ethic relativism was not practiced because the government handed over the power to the citizens of California to decide over one groups rights. Should the citizens be faulted because they voted according to their own ethics? Ethics is the system we all use to make decisions, so why would this instance be an exception? Many religious people believe gay marriage is sac-religious. The Qur’an teaches Muslims that we cannot force others to come to Islam, and also that we must obey the laws of our land, as long as they do not go against the laws God has written for us in the Holy Qur’an. I think many religious people believe there is a thin line between respecting other people’s lifestyles and condoning those lifestyles. This is why I believe the Gay community’s backlash in this instance was misdirected.

Anyone who advertised either for or against Prop 8 were simply enacting their American right to openly express their point of view. I think the Gay community’s outrage would have been better directed at the government who allowed the decision to be openly voted on, therefore allowing peoples cultures and ethics dictate marital rites for homosexuals. As American citizens, we all agree to live somewhat in a universal ethic system which is laid out by our constitution. Perhaps that is where Prop 8 should have remained- in the judicial system to be decided upon based on our constitution.

-Judge Not!