Ihsan: Let Your Faith Bring You Ease

This was almost written for my mommy blog. But then I realized that everyone could relate and perhaps benefit, with the will of Allah.

Disclaimer: I am not a scholar of any sort! But I am a mom, a wife, a human and a Believer in Allah. I go through trials and try my best to repent, learn, and change for the better, with the help and guidance of Allah.

As humans, we often look for validation and praise for the things we do. Many of us may not want to admit that. The reason this was initially for the moms was because they do so much that no one will ever see or express gratitude or appreciation for. Sometimes it’s not even enough to know we are doing what’s essentially right. She cleans, cooks, and nurtures the children all day long, but no one is there to notice. She nurses an infant and stays up all night when everyone is sleeping. No one notices. All they see is a lethargic person the next day whose hair is dishelved and voice raspy.  And because of this, many mothers and wives build resentment and some may look for validation within society. When you get an A on a college paper, you receive appreciation and praise for your hard work. When you complete a project at work, you get praised and financially compensated.

What compensation do we receive for doing good deeds?

Ihsan has many meanings. When I was first introduced to the word, it was in the context of God-consciousness. Not just any type of consciousness, but an awareness of Allah so strong that you live your life as if you can actually see Him (in a spiritual sense of course). Do you pray when no one is watching? Are you kind and patient with your infant child, although knowing she cannot tell anyone if you were not? Would you help someone in need even if no one was around to smile at you or pat you on the back? Would you fast if you were in seclusion, with no one to witness the sacrifice you have made?

Allah knows. Allah sees. And the angles are recording what you do.

Do you really believe that? We say we believe, but the real belief is in the practice. Ihsan is a way to live our lives. This Ramadan is the perfect time to strive towards having ihsan. Allah has made it easy for us because doing good usually feels good too. We were created to have an inclination towards the good.

With Ihsan, we will be happier and more content.

Sometimes it’s the small efforts we do to make other’s lives easier. If you vacuum the rug everyday while no one is around, most likely they will not express gratitude for your act. They key is to eliminate that craving for appreciation for every little act. We can start this by shifting our energy towards giving gratitude, instead of expecting it. After completing a good deed, thank Allah that you had the energy and strength to complete the deed. Thank Allah that you were able to make someone else’s life easier, because only through Allah’s mercy is these actions possible. If we expressed gratitude every time we did something good, our faith will be increased, inshaAllah. Our thoughts will turn towards the light instead of the darkness, and we will be content and happy with our lives.

Leaving you with this and a sincere prayer that we can find peace and satisfaction in knowing that Allah is watching all the time and that is always enough. Ameen.

The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “(Ihsan is) it’s to worship Allah as you are seeing Him and while you see Him not yet truly He sees you.” (Al-Bukhari, Hadith No. 48)

The Hijab Obsession Part 2: Social Media- Pulling Us Together or Tearing Us Apart?

It’s been a while since Hijab Obsession Part 1, but what can I say? I only write when I am inspired. I AM SICK AND TIRED OF SISTERS TEARING EACH OTHER UP ON FACEBOOK. Ok? Got me? It’s sickening. I usually friend any sister who sends me a request. Since I never post anything super-personal, I don’t mind building up my sister-to-sister connection. However, I am now rethinking the whole social media thing.

I logged on last night to see what people were saying about the election, and of course a lot of the Muslims were arguing about whether or not to vote. I expected that. However, as I scrolled down I see a sister’s post, “I am sick of seeing these sisters walking around with their niqab flipped up!” Then the comments poured on about the sisters who “know they ain’t right” wearing turbans or colors or this or that or blah blah blah.

My first thought was, Uh… America just voted in a new President and this is the best you have to post? Then I really felt disgusted that these sisters took time out their day to bash other sisters for what they looked like on the OUTSIDE. And it made me think, dang, I give ALL Muslim sisters salaams, are they thinking these things when they see me on the street? Do they think that “I know I ain’t right?”

Ok, so every judgment should eventually bring on some self-assessment and reflection: Am I this judgmental? Yes, I love all my sisters and want the best for them, but there was that sister wearing a hijab with a lime green short set over the summer. And I sure did call up one of my sisters and have a good laugh. SHAKE MY HEAD! This is not appropriate behavior of a believing woman- period.

We are not supposed to backbite ANYONE. But when it comes to our sisters and brothers, we are actually supposed to look the other way and make an excuse for them. Yes, we are supposed to educate them, but not in a way to embarrass to make them feel lesser. And guess what, you may not be the one who is qualified to educate them. Ever think about that? Here’s some suggestions of what you could do next time you get your abayas in bunch and are about to call up every sister you know to blast a brother or sister who, “know they ain’t right.” That’s right put down your devices, and think before you post!

Example: You see a brother walk into a bar: Say to yourself, “I bet that brother is going in there looking for someone.” Then forget you ever saw him.

Example: You see a sister who wears niqab at the masjid in some hot pink tight booty shorts: “As Salaamu Alaikum Sister! How are you these days? Want to come to my house for some jasmine tea? We can read Qur’an or just talk.” And this is the hard part: don’t tell anyone, whether she accepts your invite or not!  Then pray for her and for yourself.

Example: Someone on facebook says something you really can’t stand, instead of getting in a heating argument you either: 1- hide/delete them or, 2- Say, “Alhamdulillah, Allah knows best my sister. I love you for the sake of Allah. Masjid ____ holds classes on this subject every Sunday after taleem. Salaam!”

We are all striving together! Don’t forget that. We must ask ourselves: What would the Sahaba do?

"He who relieves a hardship of this Dunya (this earthly life) or a believer, Allah will relieve a hardship of the Day of Resurrection for him; he who makes it easy for an indebted person, Allah will make it easy for him in the Dunya and the Hereafter; he who covers a Muslim (his mistakes and shortcomings), Allah will cover him in the Dunya and the Hereafter; Allah will be in the slave 's need, as long as the slave is in his (believing) brother's need…"

 [Saheeh Muslim]

And Allah SWT says:

And when they hear AlLaghw (dirty, false, evil vain talk), they withdraw from it and say: “To us our deeds, and to you your deeds. Peace be to you. We seek not the ignorant.”

(Surah Al-Qasas: Verse 55)

The Art of Arguing

True to the name of this blog, I am always digging for knowledge. After all, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) commanded for us to "Seek knowledge from the cradle to the grave." However I have found that it is all to easy to slip into the mode of seeking conflict rather than truly seeking knowledge. Far too many times I will read an enlightening hadith or book written by a renowned scholar, then all of a sudden I think I am qualified enough to teach this precious new information to others. Then when someone disagrees with me, I feel the need to defend my point view to point where I find myself in a debate on a subject that I probably no very little about. Is it pride that drives me to the point of arguing with my fellow Muslims and beloved non-Muslim family and friends? Do I harvest an insatiable hunger to be right all the time? Surely I cannot be that egotistical? Well, I won't be that hard on myself, but I noticed that sometimes I can get so wrapped up in proving a point, that I myself is not willing to accept a different point of view. What happen to agreeing to disagree? I've discovered that when it comes to matters of religion, people are very sensitive because it is hard to admit that we have been serving our Lord incorrectly, whether through dress, prayer, or understanding our holy books. Ego also plays a part- a man doesn't want to be corrected by a woman, or an Arab by an Indonesian, or a parent by a child, or a teacher by a student, or an American convert by an Muslim-born immigrant . . . and the list goes on.

I think we can all learn to teach to and learn from each other with a greater sense of sensitivity and wisdom: maybe we are both right or perhaps we could both be wrong. Whatever the case, always seek refuge with Allah from the whisperings of the shatan before entering a discussion. Ask Allah to purify your intentions so that we are not just intentionally starting an argument for the sake of being right.

Judge Not!